To the one who listens, I hope you hear me now

Finger Eleven - Thousand Mile Wish

2005-03-01T22:59:00.000-08:00

Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry
This time alone could never cause any doubt
But I’ve been cold too long
Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain
With all the holes my love,
To fill up from the middle
This storm could stay all night

So can you stay until we close our eyes
Til your dreams hold mine
Just stay until we know we tried one more time

Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they’ll go on and they won’t let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?

Can it stay until we know ourselves?
I’m torn as I tell
You’re the story that I know and fell from
I’m so far into your story I don’t know why
We think we’re in control
When we lie between the lines

We’ll find a line to follow
It’s got to show real soon
Or we’ll never each this high

We climb a little further
Cause there’s nothing we can’t get around together
Further gets colder until nothing was all that I saw around

So we stay until the ground
That we can’t come down from splits us away
Maybe stars know why we fall
I just wish they were thinking out loud
Oh, I could wish all night

Metallica --- The Unforgiven II

2005-01-30T10:14:00.000-08:00

Lay beside me, tell me what they've done
Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run
The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true
If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you

Lay beside me, under wicked sky
The black of day, dark of night, we share this paralyse
The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining...

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you...

What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Come lay beside me, this won't hurt I swear
She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again
She lay beside me, but she'll be there when I'm gone
Black heart scarring darker still
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead sure she'll be there...

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you...

What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

(solo)

Lay beside me, tell me what I've done
The door is closed, so are you're eyes
But now I see the sun, now I see the sun
Yes now I see it...

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you...

What I've felt, what I've known
So sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits,
The one who waits for you....

Oh what I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn the stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you.... (So I dub thee unforgiven...)

Oh, what I've felt...
Oh, what I've known...

I take this key (never free...)
And I bury it (never me...) in you
Because you're unforgiven too....

Never free...
Never me...
'Cause you're unforgiven too...

Metallica --- Low Man's Lyric

2005-01-30T10:13:00.000-08:00

My eyes seek reality
My fingers seek my veins
There's a dog at your back step
He must come in from the rain
I fall cause I let go
The net below has ride away
So my eyes seek reality
And my fingers seek my veins

The trash fire is warm
No safe from the storm
And I can't bare to see
What life let me be
So wicked and worn

So as I write to you
What is done and to do
Maybe you'll understand
And won't cry for this man
'Cause low man is due
Please forgive me

My eyes seek reality
My fingers feel for fear
Touch clean with a dirty hand
I touched the clean to the wings

The trash fire is warm
No safe from the storm
I can't bare to see
What life let me be,
So wicked and worn

So as I write to you
What is done and to do
Maybe you'll understand
And won't cry for this man
'Cause low man is due
Please forgive me
Please forgive me
Please forgive me

So low the sky is all I see
All I want from you, is forgive me
So you bring this poor dog in from the rain
Though he just wants right back out again

And I cry, to the alley way
Confess all to the rain
But I lie, lie straight to the mirror
One I've broken, to match my face

The trash fire is warm
No safe from the storm
And I can't bare to see
What life let me be
So wicked and worn

So as I write to you
What is done and to do
Maybe you'll understand
And won't cry for this man
'Cause low man is due
Please forgive me
Please forgive me

So low is the sky is all I see
All I want from is what you made
So, you bring this poor dog in from the rain
Though he just wants right back out again

My eyes seek reality
My fingers seek my veins
(humming)

Once upon a time...

2005-01-30T10:06:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time I wanted to be utterly alone. I wanted to make robots and spaceships and move to Pluto and watch the Earth destroy itself in a fit of rage and drugs and jealousy. Jealousy that I could be happy on my own. That I could survive on my own. Be independant. That they always needed someone around. Needed to say how thier day was and gossip about the new guy. Needed to come home to someone. Needed someone thier to cry with.
Once upon a time I was content. Content with myself and my life. Where did that go? I got love and people and now I am not content. I love deeper than the distance I wanted to create between myself and the world. I am content with my love. I smile every day. I breath in joy and happiness. But my life outside of that love is disheartening. Is that what love brings? I wouldnt give it up for anything.

Peter Mulvey --- Tender Blindspot

2005-01-30T10:02:00.000-08:00

It's cold, but at least the sun is out
Her breath hangs glowing in the air
She's standing at the car with the key in her hand
Like a sleeper coming back from somewhere

All at once, the weight has lifted
Forgotten the weeping all last night
She's wearing a frown borrowed from her father
Her head is tilted a little to the right

And it's just your tender blindspot
Not the ruination of your soul
As long as trees are skying
Tears are weeping seas to make us whole
Still you wonder why you're aching
Why you should go on, you just don't know
But it's just your tender blindspot
From that tender blindspot you must go

The days are short and grey
It's the hardest time of year
And she must have missed the roadsign that said
"From now on, nothing will be clear"

And the whole day is claling
But she is frozen to the ground
There's something in the silence
There is something waiting to be found

And it's just your tender blindspot
Not the ruination of your soul
As long as trees are skying
Tears are weeping seas to make us whole
Still you wonder why you're aching
Why you should go on, you just don't know
But it's just your tender blindspot
From that tender blindspot you must go

And the morning dove is clinging
To the powerlines above
And time is hanging fozen
In its grace and pain and love

Superman --- Five for Fighting

2005-01-25T18:50:00.001-08:00

I can't stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me
I’m more than a bird...
I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd...but don’t be naïve
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...
But won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream

It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naïve
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream
I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...
Its not easy to be me

One Thing --- Finger Eleven

2005-01-23T13:14:00.000-08:00

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It’s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something
I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time
Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something
Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something

Life Less Ordinary --- Carbon Leaf

2005-01-23T13:11:00.000-08:00

Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
Well, I hate to be a bother but
It’s you and there’s no other, I do believe
You can call me naïve, but
I know me very well at least
As far as I can tell and I know what I need
That night you came into my life
Well it took the bones of me,
You took the bones of me
You blew away my storm and strife
And shook the bones of me
You shook the bones of me
By the way I do know why you stayed away
I will keep tongue tied next time
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
My face had said too much
Before our hands could even touch
To greet a hello
So much for going slow
Well, a little later on that year
I told you that I loved you, dear
What do you know -
This you weren’t prepared to hear
I’m a saddened man, I’m a broken boy
I’m a toddler with a complex toy
I’m falling apart since the ambush on your heart
That night you came into my life
Well it took the bones of me,
You took the bones of me
You blew away my storm and strife
And shook the bones of me
You shook the bones of me
By the way I do know why you stayed away
I will keep tongue tied but
Honey understand
Honey understand
I won't make demands
Honey understand
Honey understand
We could walk without a plan
Honey understand, honey
Honey understand
I won’t rest in stone all alone
Honey understand
Honey understand
I’m all ready to go
But you already know
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
If I could name you in this song
Would it make you smile and sing along
This is the goal-- to get into your soul
If I could make you dance with joy
Could that be the second chance to coy
The 'bird in hand' I would need to help you understand
That night you came into my life
Well it took the bones of me,
You took the bones of me
You blew away my storm and strife
And shook the bones of me
You shook the bones of me
By the way I do know why you stayed away
I will keep tongue tied next time

Love

2005-01-22T07:42:00.000-08:00

Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
~Erica Jong (American writer and feminist 1942)

Audioslave --- Shadow of The Sun

2005-01-18T23:30:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time
I was on a mind to lay your burden down
And leave you where you stood
You believed I could
You'd seen it done before
I could read your thoughts
And tell you what you saw
And never say a word
But now that is gone
Over with and done
And never to return
I can tell you why
People die alone
I can tell you why
The shadow on the sun
Staring at the loss
Looking for the cause
And never really sure
Nothing but a hole
To live without a soul
And nothing to be learned
I can tell you why
People go insane
I can show you how
You could do the same
I can tell you why
The end will never come
I can tell you on
The shadow on the sun
Shapes of every size
Move behind my eyes
Doors inside my head
Bolted from within
Every drop of flame
Lights a candle in
Memory of the one
Who lived inside my skin
I can tell you why
People go insane
I can show you how
You could do the same
I can tell you why
The end will never come
I can tell you on
The shadow on the sun
Shadow on the sun
Shadow on the sun
Shadow on the sun
Shadow on the sun
Shadow on the sun
Shadow on the sun
Shadow on the sun
Sun
Sun

Nickelback --- Someday

2005-01-17T15:31:00.000-08:00

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables
I wish you'd unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
[Solo]
How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
Nothing's wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
I know you're wondering when

I Am The Highway -- Audioslave

2005-01-09T22:12:00.000-08:00

Pearls and swine bereft of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow or pity for leaving I feel
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
Friends and liars don't wait for me
I'll get on all by myself
I put millions of miles
Under my heels
And still too close to you
I feel
I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night

wow... i am excited...

2005-01-02T01:12:00.000-08:00

Wrath

63%

Envy

63%

Gluttony

63%

Sloth

56%

Pride

44%

Lust

38%

Greed

Seven deadly sins
created with QuizFarm.com

Amy Grant - Your not Alone

2004-12-08T14:56:00.000-08:00

I saw you walking by yourself
Your eyes were crying out for help
I know you feel your pain is more
Than anyone's been hurt before
I know love hurts when it's over
If you wanna cry, it's all right
You're like a fallen soldier
But you just can't lay down and die
(Chorus:) You've got to remember
You're not alone in this world
Always remember
You're not alone in this world
The moment that I looked at you
I recognized the killing truth
You really think there's no way out
But, if you let me, I can help you now
Through all these shattered emotions
There's a lesson to learn
So come on, let me hold you closer
Love can soothe what love has burned
(Repeat chorus)
You've got to remember
Never alone (never alone)
Never alone (never alone)
Never, never alone
I've got to tell you now, babe
Through all these shattered emotions
There's a lesson to learn
So come on, let me hold you close
Because love can soothe what love has burned

dream theatre - another day

2004-12-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

Live another day
Climb a little higher
Find another reason to stay
Ashes in your hands
Mercy in your eyes
If you're searching for a silent sky...
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So die another day
The coldness of his words
The message in his silence,
'Face the candle to the wind...
'This distance in my voice
Isn't leaving you a choice
So if you're looking for a time to run away...
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day
They took pictures of our dreams
Ran to hide behind the stairs
And said maybe when it's right for you, they'll fall
But if they don't come down
Resist the need to pull them in
And throw them away
Better to save the mystery
Than surrender to the secret
You won't find it here
Look another way
You won't find it here
So try another day

Gravity Kills - Belief (To Rust)

2004-12-08T13:37:00.000-08:00

Down by your wall I feel awake
I am alone accpeting my fate
I have the answers twisting around me
I found the answers of what I should be
Down by your wall I want you to stay
I think of the place that ran you away
I catch the rain that turns me to rust
I stand in the flame that turns me to dust
I can't believe
That you might believe I'll heal you
I can't believe
Tht you might belive I want to at all
That I want to at all

Your Element is Earth

2004-12-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

Wow... My element is earth... does that mean that impaling myself on a tree wont really do any harm and I would just meld with the tree? Yes? Damn will have to think of something else cause knowing my luck I would live if i just fell 5 floors, have to make sure I hit *something*.

Your Element Is Earth

You excel at planning and strategizing.
You could be a champ at chess or Survivor.

Well grounded, you are able to be realistic and rationalize.
On the inside, you have a hard core. It's tough to phase you.

You are super productive, and you are able to think anything through.
Focused and super charged, your instincts are a good guide for your next step.

What's Your Element?

All the things he said...

2004-11-27T22:02:00.000-08:00

All the things he said... most of the time it doesnt get to me but every once in a while things will come up and throw me completely off guard. Whats the truth? What really happened? I know how the feelings were portrayed but how were they really felt? Did it do it all for a reason? Everything... this song? was it for a reason or was it just some cool thing. What about the poem, what about everything... He said I hurt him. Did he really mean it? Does he really want me? How was I discarded then? I hate this...

TATU - All the Things she said

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
(Running through my head)
This is not enough
I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?
I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free
Nobody else so we can be free
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
(Running through my head)
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
(All the things she said)
This is not enough
And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame
When they stop and stare - don't worry me
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
This is not enough
This is not enough
Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I've lost my mind
Daddy looking at me
Will I ever be free?
Have I crossed the line?
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
This is not enough
This is not enough

The Burn

Apex

My heart beats free,

For you to see.

With an open mind

Driving open arms

My love burns fierce

As my soul you pierce

Your gentle touch

Brings my heart aflame

As time goes by,

I can only cry

I patiently wait

For our next embrace

Your lingering touch

I love so much

I see you there

And I feel a need

Hazel eyes afire

Fuel my hearts desire

Hearts beat, sychronized

Upon the waves of time

Silken hands touching me

Show me things I cannot see

With open arms, and open soul

I give you all I can

Pixie smile, sparkling eyes

Nothing greater beneath the skies

Shifting dreams, shifting sands

Eager hearts, anxious souls.

My love for you, I cannot debate,

Upon fulfillment i must wait

This simple verse burns through my mind

Hoping to let you know, I love you

Fini

Shawn

Temptation

2004-11-17T09:51:00.000-08:00

Temptation - Tea Party

Driven by restrained desire
I want what I need
Shacking as her sex takes hold
I've lost all control
Drowning in a sea of rage
I taste the embrace
Helpless as it steals my soul
I've lost all control
We exist in a world where the fear of Iillusion is real
And we cling to the past to deny and confuse The ideal
Once inside, we can conceive and believe in a god we can't feel
Destined by a fate so cruel
And drugged to delight
Laughing as these lies unfold
I've lost all control
Temptation
It never lets me down
Temptation
One foot in the ground
Temptation
You satisfy my soul
Temptation
I've lost all control

And Still I Survive

2004-11-15T01:37:00.000-08:00

I see the blood
Pouring from my veins
Slowly I loose all feeling
I am just numb
Nothing is logical
Reason is dead
Along with my mind
And the blood flows
From my wrists
It slowly drips down
Drop by drop
Red rivers form from my neck
Traveling down
Flowing over my breast
My life force drains away
Yet somehow I remain
The world turns white
With red staining the floor
Black waves crash upon me
Washing the blood
Carrying me away
And still I survive

The Dress To Express

2004-11-12T20:52:00.000-08:00

Sounds like something I would have done in high school if i had been just a bit more caring... Nifty article anyways

Political T shirts—on the right and the left—pit teenagers against their school administrators
By Vanessa Juarez
Newsweek

Oct. 4 issue - When Tim Gies was a sophomore at Michigan's Bay City Central High School, the United States was preparing to go to war in Iraq, and Gies became so passionate about politics that he began wearing his views on his sleeve—literally. He started producing his own line of antiwar, anti-Bush apparel by painting symbols and slogans onto T shirts and sweat shirts. When school administrators noticed, they weren't pleased and told him many times to remove his tees. Gies refused, and was repeatedly suspended for weeks at a time. "I just wore the shirts and took the punishments," recalls Gies, now 17. When the administrators threatened Gies with expulsion earlier this year, Gies called the local ACLU—which notified the school that it was infringing on its student's First Amendment rights.
In this election season, pundits and pollsters are anxiously studying the youngest voters, hoping that on Nov. 2, kids will demonstrate that their passions go beyond the latest lip gloss or basketball kicks. But in high schools across the country, there are more kids like Tim Gies sparking controversy by wearing their political beliefs emblazoned on their backs. Since 2001 there have been more than a dozen highly publicized cases of kids and school administrators clashing over T-shirt slogans, and many of those cases have wound up in court. Until this year, most school dress-code disputes were related to gangsta gear or showing too much skin, says Jennifer Dounay, a policy analyst for the Education Commission of the States. Politics "does seem to be a recent development or a redevelopment, if you want to call it that." Regardless of which wing or party they represent, teens are making their fashion statements political.
In the only known case of its kind, monetary damages—$30,000—were awarded this year to a plaintiff in a T-shirt dispute. Nicky Young, 16, together with her mother, sued the City of New York after Nicky was sent home from her Queens public school for wearing a shirt that said BARBIE IS A LESBIAN. Young was moved to wear the T shirt, she says, after her teacher told her that all gays were going to hell. Last year Bretton Barber, a Dearborn, Mich., student, was reprimanded for wearing a T shirt that read INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST next to an image of President Bush. He contacted the ACLU; the group filed a lawsuit and won. These skirmishes take place on the right as well. Elliot Chambers, a student at Minnesota's Woodbury High, attended class in 2001 wearing a T shirt with the words STRAIGHT PRIDE. After the school principal forbade him from wearing the shirt again, Chambers's parents filed a lawsuit on his behalf, and a federal judge ruled in their favor. And earlier this year Daniel Goergen was barred from wearing his hooded ABORTION IS HOMICIDE sweat shirt to his Newport News, Va., high school. A Christian law center warned of legal action, and the school backed off.
Not five years ago, teens were getting riled over the right to "sag" their pants at school. These days teens say their lives are directly affected by such issues as gay rights, the Iraq war, terrorism and talk of bringing back the draft. And they're savvy enough to use the legal system to make their point. Thanks to the ACLU's efforts, Bay City school administrators rescinded their prohibition on Tim Gies's tees last April—a week and a half before he was due to graduate. Tim "knows a lot more than I'll ever know—bookwise, streetwise," says Jamie Graczyk, Gies's mom. "He sat my parents down and told them exactly why the government is the way it is today. And my parents were totally floored."
For the most part, a Vietnam-era Supreme Court ruling protects these kids and their shirts, but the horrors of the 1999 Columbine shootings have made parents and administrators especially concerned about school safety. School officials say they're trying to create a hostility-free environment by giving students who wear potentially offensive clothing a slap on the wrist.
In Tyler (Chase) Harper's estimation, his dispute with California's Poway High School was one-sided. Earlier this year he wore a HOMOSEXUALITY IS SHAMEFUL tee (which he lettered with masking tape) in response to the school's Day of Silence, a nationwide event set aside to protest discrimination and harassment against gays, lesbians and transgender students. Harper says the principal told him the shirt was inflammatory. "How can you tell me I have to be tolerant of your views, but you can't be tolerant of mine?" asks Harper, who ended up with a one-day, in-school suspension for refusing to take off his T shirt. (Harper's shirt was disrupting the class, says Dan Shinoff, the lawyer representing the school district.) Harper called the Alliance Defense Fund, an organization that defends religious liberty, and filed a lawsuit against the Poway Unified School District. Harper and ADF are awaiting a decision on their motion for a preliminary injunction and the school district's motion to dismiss.
Tim Gies says his victory came way before he contacted the ACLU. "We'd have whole political discussions in the classroom because of a shirt I was wearing," says Gies, who's currently planning an anti-Bush protest in Michigan. "Kids started making their own pro-war shirts and pro-Bush shirts, just to counteract my shirt. That was exactly what I wanted, so it worked out." The Founding Fathers would be proud.
With Claire Sulmers
© 2004 Newsweek, Inc.

Geek, Geek, Geek...

2004-11-11T03:10:00.000-08:00

theOtaku.com: What Personality Do You Have?

Yup, still a geek

2004-11-11T03:06:00.000-08:00

theOtaku.com: What Escaflowne Character Are You?

I'm an angel :)

2004-11-11T02:49:00.000-08:00

Or more like a geek... but if I were an angel this would be very fitting

theOtaku.com: What Anime Angel Are You?

Ah! The eigth level of hell, a great place to be...

2004-11-10T17:28:00.000-08:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

More Lifeguards for the Gene Pool

2004-11-08T18:15:00.000-08:00

I am sick of America. Really and truly. People say that they love this country but hate the government; I am beyond that. I love the piece of land that has been named the United States of America, but almost everything on that piece of land needs to be simply wiped from the face of the earth. It’s not just the government I hate; it’s also the people that the government has shaped. It’s all the people that have been bred into victims and liars. It’s the people who are lemmings, who will gladly follow the crowd and refuse to do anything on their own because they don’t want to “make waves”. Those people need to grow a fucking backbone or die. I read through ER records every day and it amazes me how many people, especially teens, get drunk at parties and whine when they get raped. You would think that this population would grow brain cells as we evolved in tech and medical advances, but no, somehow we have degenerated. We have forgotten how to take responsibility for our own actions and we have decided to disregard the wisdom of those that came before us. There is a reason your parents worry, it’s because you are going to destroy this nation one day and they know it. It sickens me how a parent can be sent to prison for a crime their child committed. It amazes me that children survive to the ripe old age of 15 now a days. They join gangs to feel accepted but they are only rejected and taken advantage of. Society has come to define who we are. We no longer take control of our own lives, we let other people build us. How did we get to this point? Was it just years of spawning more and more rebellious children? Maybe it’s genetic. I think we need to hire more life guards for the gene pool.

Incubus-Make Yourself
If I hadn't made me
I would've been made somehow
if I hadn't assembled myself
I'd have fallen apart by now
If I hadn't made me
I'd be more inclined to bow
powers that be, would have swallowed me up
but that's more than I can allow
bow, aww yeah
If you let them make you
they'll make you paper mache
at a distance you're strong
until the wind comes
then you crumble and blow away
If you let them fuck you
there will be no foreplay
rest assured, they'll screw you complete
till your ass is blue and gray
You should make amends with you
if only for better health, better health
but if you really want to live
why not try and make yourself
make yourself, make yourself
If I hadn't made me
I'd have fallen apart by now
I won't let them make me
it's more than I can allow
so when I make me
I won't be paper mache
and if I fuck me
I'll fuck me in my own way
pow, fuck me in my own way
pow, fuck me in my own way
pow, fuck me in my own way
fuck me in my own way
You should make amends with you
if only for better health, better health
but if you really want to live
why not try and make yourself
make yourself, make yourself
make yourself, make yourself

Blah...

2004-11-07T22:46:00.000-08:00

Nine Inch Nails-Sanctified
It’s still getting worse after everything I tried.
What if I found a way to wash it all aside.
What if she touches with those fingertips.
As the words spill out like fire from her lips.
If she says come inside I’ll come inside for her.
If she says five it all I’ll give everything to her.
I am justified.
I am purified.
I am sanctified.
Inside you
Heaven’s just a rumor she’ll dispel.
As she walks me through the nicest parts of hell.
I still dream of lips I never should have never kissed.
Well she knows exactly what I can’t resist
If she says come inside I’ll come inside for her.
If she says five it all I’ll give everything to her.
I am justified.
I am purified.
I am sanctified.
Inside you
I’m just caught up in another of her spells.
She’s turning me into someone else.
Everyday I hope and pray this will end.
But when I can I do it all again
If she says come inside I’ll come inside for her.
If she says five it all I’ll give everything to her.
I am justified.
I am purified.
I am sanctified.
Inside you
As surely as the blades course is run.
Maybe my kingdom’s finally come

Is God in Our Genes

2004-11-07T17:37:00.000-08:00

A very interesting Time article, well worth the read if you care about a higher power at all. :)

Is God in Our Genes?
A provocative study asks whether religion is a product of evolution. Inside a quest for the roots of faith By Jefferey Kluger

Oct. 25, 2004
It's not hard to see the divinity behind the water temples that dot the rice terraces of Bali. It's there in the white-clad high priest presiding in the temple at the summit of a dormant volcano. It's there in the 23 priests serving along with him, selected for their jobs when they were still children by a bevy of virgin priestesses.
It's there in the rituals the priests perform to protect the island's water, which in turn is needed to nurture the island's rice.
If the divine is easy to spot, what's harder to make out is the banal. But it's there too—in the meetings the priests convene to schedule their planting dates and combat the problem of crop pests; in the plans they draw up to maintain aqueducts and police conduits; in the irrigation proposals they consider and approve, the dam proposals they reject or amend. "The religion has a temple at every node in the irrigation system," says David Sloan Wilson, professor of biology and anthropology at Binghamton University in Binghamton, N.Y. "The priests make decisions and enforce the code of both religion and irrigation."
Ask true believers of any faith to describe the most important thing that drives their devotion, and they'll tell you it's not a thing at all but a sense—a feeling of a higher power far beyond us. Western religions can get a bit more doctrinaire: God has handed us laws and lore, and it's for us to learn and practice what they teach. For a hell-raising species like ours, however—with too much intelligence for our own good and too little discipline to know what to do with it—there have always been other, more utilitarian reasons to get religion. Chief among them is survival. Across the eons, the structure that religion provides our lives helps preserve both mind and body. But that, in turn, has raised a provocative question, one that's increasingly debated in the worlds of science and religion: Which came first, God or the need for God? In other words, did humans create religion from cues sent from above, or did evolution instill in us a sense of the divine so that we would gather into the communities essential to keeping the species going?
Just as a hurricane spins off tornadoes, this debate creates its own whirlwind of questions: If some people are more spiritual than others, is it nature or nurture that has made them so? If science has nothing to do with spirituality and it all flows from God, why do some people hear the divine word easily while others remain spiritually tone-deaf? Do such ivied-hall debates about environment, heredity and anthropology have any place at all in more exalted conversations about the nature of God?
Even among people who regard spiritual life as wishful hocus-pocus, there is a growing sense that humans may not be able to survive without it. It's hard enough getting by in a fang-and-claw world in which killing, thieving and cheating pay such rich dividends. It's harder still when there's no moral cop walking the beat to blow the whistle when things get out of control. Best to have a deity on hand to rein in our worst impulses, bring out our best and, not incidentally, give us a sense that there's someone awake in the cosmic house when the lights go out at night and we find ourselves wondering just why we're here in the first place. If a God or even several gods can do all that, fine. And if we sometimes misuse the idea of our gods—and millenniums of holy wars prove that we do—the benefits of being a spiritual species will surely outweigh the bloodshed.
Far from being an evolutionary luxury then, the need for God may be a crucial trait stamped deeper and deeper into our genome with every passing generation. Humans who developed a spiritual sense thrived and bequeathed that trait to their offspring. Those who didn't risked dying out in chaos and killing. The evolutionary equation is a simple but powerful one.
Nowhere has that idea received a more intriguing going-over than in the recently published book The God Gene: How Faith Is Hardwired into Our Genes (Doubleday; 256 pages), by molecular biologist Dean Hamer.
Chief of gene structure at the National Cancer Institute, Hamer not only claims that human spirituality is an adaptive trait, but he also says he has located one of the genes responsible, a gene that just happens to also code for production of the neurotransmitters that regulate our moods. Our most profound feelings of spirituality, according to a literal reading of Hamer's work, may be due to little more than an occasional shot of intoxicating brain chemicals governed by our DNA. "I'm a believer that every thought we think and every feeling we feel is the result of activity in the brain," Hamer says.
"I think we follow the basic law of nature, which is that we're a bunch of chemical reactions running around in a bag."
Even for the casually religious, such seeming reductionism can rankle. The very meaning of faith, after all, is to hold fast to something without all the tidy cause and effect that science finds so necessary. Try parsing things the way geneticists do, and you risk parsing them into dust. "God is not something that can be demonstrated logically or rigorously," says Neil Gillman, a professor of Jewish philosophy at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York City. "[The idea of a God gene] goes against all my personal theological convictions." John Polkinghorne, a physicist who is also Canon Theologian at England's Liverpool Cathedral, agrees: "You can't cut [faith] down to the lowest common denominator of genetic survival. It shows the poverty of reductionist thinking."
Is Hamer really guilty of such simplification? Could claims for a so-called God gene be merely the thin end of a secular wedge, one that risks prying spirituality away from God altogether? Or, assuming the gene exists at all, could it somehow be embraced by both science and religion, in the same way some evolutionists and creationists—at least the less radicalized ones—accept the idea of a divinely created universe in which evolving life is simply part of the larger plan? Hamer, for one, hopes so. "My findings are agnostic on the existence of God," he says. "If there's a God, there's a God. Just knowing what brain chemicals are involved in acknowledging that is not going to change the fact."
Whatever the merits of Hamer's work, he is clearly the heir of a millenniums-long search for the wellsprings of spirituality. People have been wrestling with the roots of faith since faith itself was first codified into Scripture. "[God has] set eternity in the hearts of men," says the Book of Ecclesiastes, "yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
To theologians in the 3rd century B.C., when Ecclesiastes is thought to have been written, that passage spoke to the idea that while all of us are divinely inspired to look for God, none of us are remotely capable of fully comprehending what we are seeking. Scientists in the 21st century may not disagree, provided that "hearts of men" is replaced with "genes of men." The key for those researchers is finding those genes.
Hamer began looking in 1998, when he was conducting a survey on smoking and addiction for the National Cancer Institute. As part of his study, he recruited more than 1,000 men and women, who agreed to take a standardized, 240-question personality test called the Temperament and Character Inventory (TCI). Among the traits the TCI measures is one known as self-transcendence, which consists of three other traits: self-forgetfulness, or the ability to get entirely lost in an experience; transpersonal identification, or a feeling of connectedness to a larger universe; and mysticism, or an openness to things not literally provable. Put them all together, and you come as close as science can to measuring what it feels like to be spiritual.
"This allows us to have the kind of experience described as religious ecstasy," says Robert Cloninger, a psychiatrist at Washington University in St. Louis, Mo., and the designer of the self-transcendence portion of the TCI.
Hamer decided to use the data he gathered in the smoking survey to conduct a little spirituality study on the side. First he ranked the participants along Cloninger's self-transcendence scale, placing them on a continuum from least to most spiritually inclined. Then he went poking around in their genes to see if he could find the DNA responsible for the differences. Spelunking in the human genome is not easy, what with 35,000 genes consisting of 3.2 billion chemical bases. To narrow the field, Hamer confined his work to nine specific genes known to play major roles in the production of monoamines—brain chemicals, including serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine, that regulate such fundamental functions as mood and motor control. It's monoamines that are carefully manipulated by Prozac and other antidepressants. It's also monoamines that are not so carefully scrambled by ecstasy, LSD, peyote and other mind-altering drugs—some of which have long been used in religious rituals.
Studying the nine candidate genes in DNA samples provided by his subjects, Hamer quickly hit the genetic jackpot. A variation in a gene known as vmat2—for vesicular monoamine transporter—seemed to be directly related to how the volunteers scored on the self-transcendence test. Those with the nucleic acid cytosine in one particular spot on the gene ranked high. Those with the nucleic acid adenine in the same spot ranked lower. "A single change in a single base in the middle of the gene seemed directly related to the ability to feel self-transcendence," Hamer says. Merely having that feeling did not mean those people would take the next step and translate their transcendence into a belief in—or even a quest for—God. But they seemed likelier to do so than those who never got the feeling at all.
Hamer is careful to point out that the gene he found is by no means the only one that affects spirituality. Even minor human traits can be governed by the interplay of many genes; something as complex as belief in God could involve hundreds or even thousands. "If someone comes to you and says, 'We've found the gene for X,'" says John Burn, medical director of the Institute of Human Genetics at the University of Newcastle in England, "you can stop them before they get to the end of the sentence."
Hamer also stresses that while he may have located a genetic root for spirituality, that is not the same as a genetic root for religion.
Spirituality is a feeling or a state of mind; religion is the way that state gets codified into law. Our genes don't get directly involved in writing legislation. As Hamer puts it, perhaps understating a bit the emotional connection many have to their religions, "Spirituality is intensely personal; religion is institutional."
At least one faith, according to one of its best-known scholars, formalizes the idea of gene-based spirituality and even puts a pretty spin on it. Buddhists, says Robert Thurman, professor of Buddhist studies at Columbia University, have long entertained the idea that we inherit a spirituality gene from the person we were in a previous life. Smaller than an ordinary gene, it combines with two larger physical genes we inherit from our parents, and together they shape our physical and spiritual profile. Says Thurman: "The spiritual gene helps establish a general trust in the universe, a sense of openness and generosity." Buddhists, he adds, would find Hamer's possible discovery "amusing and fun."
The Buddhist theory has never been put to the scientific test, but other investigations into the biological roots of belief in God were being conducted long before Hamer's efforts—often with intriguing results. In 1979, investigators at the University of Minnesota began their now famous twins study, tracking down 53 pairs of identical twins and 31 pairs of fraternal twins that had been separated at birth and raised apart. The scientists were looking for traits the members of each pair had in common, guessing that the characteristics shared more frequently by identical twins than by fraternal twins would be genetically based, since identical twins carry matching DNA, and those traits for which there was no disparity between the identicals and fraternals would be more environmentally influenced.
As it turned out, the identical twins had plenty of remarkable things in common. In some cases, both suffered from migraine headaches, both had a fear of heights, both were nail biters. Some shared little eccentricities, like flushing the toilet both before and after using it. When quizzed on their religious values and spiritual feelings, the identical twins showed a similar overlap. In general, they were about twice as likely as fraternal twins to believe as much—or as little—about spirituality as their sibling did. Significantly, these numbers did not hold up when the twins were questioned about how faithfully they practiced any organized religion. Clearly, it seemed, the degree to which we observe rituals such as attending services is mostly the stuff of environment and culture. Whether we're drawn to God in the first place is hardwired into our genes. "It completely contradicted my expectations," says University of Minnesota psychologist Thomas Bouchard, one of the researchers involved in the work. Similar results were later found in larger twin studies in Virginia and Australia.
Other researchers have taken the science in a different direction, looking not for the genes that code for spirituality but for how that spirituality plays out in the brain. Neuroscientist Andrew Newberg of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine has used several types of imaging systems to watch the brains of subjects as they meditate or pray. By measuring blood flow, he determines which regions are responsible for the feelings the volunteers experience.
The deeper that people descend into meditation or prayer, Newberg found, the more active the frontal lobe and the limbic system become.
The frontal lobe is the seat of concentration and attention; the limbic system is where powerful feelings, including rapture, are processed. More revealing is the fact that at the same time these regions flash to life, another important region—the parietal lobe at the back of the brain—goes dim. It's this lobe that orients the individual in time and space. Take it off-line, and the boundaries of the self fall away, creating the feeling of being at one with the universe. Combine that with what's going on in the other two lobes, and you can put together a profound religious experience.
Even to some within the religious community, this does not come as news. "In India in Buddha's time, there were philosophers who said there was no soul; the mind was just chemistry," says Thurman. "The Buddha disagreed with their extreme materialism but also rejected the 'absolute soul' theologians." Michael Persinger, professor of behavioral neuroscience at Laurentian University in Sudbury, Ont., puts the chemistry argument more bluntly. "God," he says, "is an artifact of the brain."
Even if such spiritual deconstructionism is true, some scientists—to say nothing of most theologians—think it takes you only so far, particularly when it comes to trying to determine the very existence of God. Simply understanding the optics and wiring of the eyes, after all, doesn't mean there's no inherent magnificence in the Rembrandts they allow us to see. If human beings were indeed divinely assembled, why wouldn't our list of parts include a genetic chip that would enable us to contemplate our maker?
"Of course, concepts of God reside in the brain. They certainly don't reside in the toe," says Lindon Eaves, director of the Virginia Institute for Psychiatric and Behavioral Genetics at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond. "The question is, To what is this wiring responsive? Why is it there?"
Says Paul Davies, professor of natural philosophy at Macquarie University in Sydney, Australia: "I think a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that if you explain something, you explain it away. I don't see that at all with religious experience."
Those religious believers who are comfortable with the idea that God genes are the work of God should have little trouble making the next leap: that not only are the genes there but they are central to our survival, one of the hinges upon which the very evolution of the human species turned. It's an argument that's not terribly hard to make.
For one thing, God is a concept that appears in human cultures all over the globe, regardless of how geographically isolated they are.
When tribes living in remote areas come up with a concept of God as readily as nations living shoulder to shoulder, it's a fairly strong indication that the idea is preloaded in the genome rather than picked up on the fly. If that's the case, it's an equally strong indication that there are very good reasons it's there.
One of those reasons might be that, as the sole species—as far as we know—capable of contemplating its own death, we needed something larger than ourselves to make that knowledge tolerable. "Anticipation of our own demise is the price we pay for a highly developed frontal lobe," says Persinger. "In many ways, [a God experience is] a brilliant adaptation. It's a built-in pacifier."
But the most important survival role religion may serve is as the mortar that holds a group together. Worshipping God doesn't have to be a collective thing; it can be done in isolation, disconnected from any organized religion. The overwhelming majority of people, however, congregate to pray, observing the same rituals and heeding the same creeds. Once that congregation is in place, it's only a small step to using the common system of beliefs and practices as the basis for all the secular laws that keep the group functioning.
One of the best examples of religion as social organizer, according to Binghamton University's Wilson, is early Calvinism. John Calvin rose to prominence in 1536 when, as a theologian and religious reformer, he was recruited to help bring order to the fractious city of Geneva. Calvin, perhaps one of the greatest theological minds ever produced by European Christianity, was a lawyer by trade. Wilson speculates that it was Calvin's pragmatic genius to understand that while civil laws alone might not be enough to bring the city's deadbeats and other malefactors into line, divine law might be.
Calvin's catechism included the familiar Ten Commandments—which, with their injunctions against theft, murder, adultery and lying, are themselves effective social organizers. Added to that were admonitions to pay taxes, perform civic duties, behave in a civil manner and submit to the authority of magistrates. "You must understand religions very thoroughly in relation to their environments," says Wilson. "And one problem for Calvin was to make his city function."
The heirs to Calvinism today—Presbyterians, many Baptists and believers in the Reformed tradition in general—see the roots of their faith as something far more divine than merely good civic management. But even some theologians seem to think that a deep belief in the laws of God can coexist with the survival demands of an evolving society. "Calvin had a reverence for the Scriptures, which then became institutionalized," says James Kay, professor of practical theology at the Princeton Theological Seminary. "The Bible is concerned about justice for the poor, equity and fairness, and all of those things were seen to in Calvin's Geneva."
Other struggling cultures have similarly translated godly law into earthly order and in doing so helped ensure their survival. The earliest Christians established a rough institutional structure that allowed them to transmit their ideas within a generation of Christ's death, and as a result succeeded in living through the Roman persecution; the Jews of the Diaspora moved as a cultural whole through the nations of Europe, finding niches wherever they could but maintaining their identity and kinship by observing the same rites.
"All religions become a bit secular," says Wilson. "In order to survive, you have to organize yourselves into a culture."
The downside to all this is that often religious groups gather not into congregations but into camps—and sometimes they're armed camps.
In a culture of Crusades, Holocausts and jihads, where in the world is the survival advantage of religious wars or terrorism? One facile explanation has always been herd culling—an adaptive way of keeping populations down so that resources aren't depleted. But there's little evolutionary upside to wiping out an entire population of breeding-age males, as countries trying to recover from wars repeatedly learn. Why then do we so often let the sweetness of religion curdle into combat?
The simple answer might be that just because we're given a gift, we don't necessarily always use it wisely. Fire can either light your village or burn down the one next door, depending on your inclination. "Religions represent an attempt to harness innate spirituality for organizational purposes—not always good," says Macquarie University's Davies. And while spiritual contemplation is intuitive, says Washington University's Cloninger, religion is dogmatic; dogma in the wrong hands has always been a risky thing.
Still, for every place in the world that's suffering from religious strife, there are many more where spirituality is doing its uplifting and civilizing work. A God who would equip us with the genes and the smarts to cooperate in such a clever way is a God who ought to be appealing even to religious purists. Nonetheless, sticking points do remain that prevent genetic theory from going down smoothly. One that's particularly troublesome is the question of why Hamer's God gene—or any of the others that may eventually be discovered—is distributed so unevenly among us. Why are some of us spiritual virtuosos, while others can't play a note? Isn't it one of the central tenets of religion that grace is available to everybody? At least a few scientists shrug at the question. "Some get religion, and some don't," says Virginia Commonwealth University's Eaves.
But this seeming inequity may be an important part of the spiritual journey. It would be easy for God simply to program us for reverence; it's more meaningful when the door is opened but you've got to walk through on your own—however hard those steps may be for some. "I have never had a Big Bang conversion experience," says the Jewish Theological Seminary's Gillman. "My sense is that slowly and gradually, out of a rich experience of the world, one builds a faith."
Such experiences may ultimately be at least as important a part of our spiritual tool kit as the genes we're born with. A poor genetic legacy but lucky spiritual circumstances might mean more than good genes and bad experiences. "Fortune includes the possibility of divine grace as well as environmental influences," says Cloninger.
No matter how the two factors balance out, scientists may eventually find that trying to identify the definitive cluster of genes that serves as our spiritual circuit board is simply impossible—like trying to draw a genetic schematic of love. Still, they're likely to keep trying. "I am personally convinced that there is a scheme of things," says Davies of Macquarie University, "that the universe is not just any ragbag of laws." In the end, genes may prove to be a part of that scheme—but clearly one of very many.
— With reporting by Jeff Chu/London, Broward Liston/Orlando, Maggie Sieger/Chicago and Daniel Williams/Sydney

Charmed

2004-11-07T01:05:00.000-08:00

All too fitting... why are songs like that lately... just play at perfect (or perfectly unferfect) times... i guess i am just charmed (laugh... laugh... ha... ha...)

Evanesance-Last Breath
hold on to me love
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
i'll miss the winter
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
i know you hear me
i can taste it in your tears
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
closing your eyes to disappear
you pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth
no one's there
say goodnight
don't be afraid
calling me calling me as you fade to black

Randomness of My Head

2004-11-05T22:47:00.000-08:00

Why do songs always come up at weird times and do weirdo things to your head?

Incubus - Stellar
(You are stellar)
Meet me in outer space
we could spend the night
watch the earth come up
I've grown tired of that place
won't you come with me
we could start again
How do you do it
make me feel like I do
how do you do it
it's better than I ever knew, ooh
Meet me in outer space
I will hold you close
if your afraid of heights
I need you to see this place
it might be the only way
that I can show you how
it feels to be inside of you
How do you do it
make me feel like I do
how do you do it
it's better than I ever knew, ooh
how do you do it
make me feel like I do
Do, oh oh oh oh oh
you are stellar
you are stellar

The Warmth

2004-11-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

It amazes me sometimes that people can get depressed. I don’t care about all the chemical imbalances either. Just the basic, every day, affecting way too many damn people depression. Does no one bother to watch a sunset anymore? Or walk through a garden? Or hell, even just stop and view the amazingness of “civilized” humanity! I mean most people look through the streets of a town and all they see is the dark gloomy grime of a city. Why doesn’t anyone see the architecture anymore; or the birds that we have so rudely tried to remove? At one point people would smile when they walked out of their doors everyday; they would take a deep breath and no matter what had happened the day before they walked briskly forward because it was a new day. Now we have half the country in therapy or on some form of drug because they have no sense of self preservation. No sense of happiness. People just don’t get it anymore. They don’t understand that there is beauty all around them and that they are all freakin’ idiots, running around, chasing dreams that will never come true because they never actually put effort into them. People have no sense of responsibility; they blame others for their own problems constantly. Unfortunately this has caused almost everyone to be that fucked up and cold, which of course adds to the problem. So when do we get our natural catastrophe to wipe out humanity?

The Warmth-Incubus
I'd like to close my eyes, go numb
but there's a cold wind coming from
the top of the highest high rise today
it's not a breeze cause it blows hard
yes and it wants me to discard
the humanity I know
watched the warmth blow away

So don't let the world bring you down
not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow old

So do you think I should adhere
to that pressing new frontier
and leave in my wake, a trail of fear
should I hold my head up high
and throw a wrench in spokes by
leaving the air behind me clear

So don't let the world bring you down
not everyone here is that fucked up and cold
remember why you came and while you're alive
experience the warmth before you grow old

Life... Ha... ha... ha...

2004-11-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

Isn’t it funny how life is sometimes… the satire and sarcasm it plays on you… not to mention the irony… but it can be serious too… and angry… and hold grudges… and it really hurts when it suddenly, out of the blue, just socks you in the stomach but is smart enough not to leave a visible mark…

The wavering touch of a hand in the night
Stills my heart but my head starts to race
Pondering a kiss… I really do miss
The smile, the laugh, the love

Wow: Of or pertaining to 'golly gee willakers'

2004-11-03T09:48:00.000-08:00

Wow.
Sometimes something just makes you say wow and you can't help but dwell on it for days on end until your brain slowly eats away at itsself and implodes becuase the pressure is too great on the outside. Then you realize that its just from an anime and that you really are a total geek.

I am dead.
Even though this body is still breathing, although barely, and my heart is still beating, I am already dead. Life or death is not determined by the warmth of the body. For example, even if the warm blood still runs through my body, the mirror inside my heart has shattered and will show nothing ever again.
Don’t feel anything. Don’t want anything.
There is nothing for me, now that I am dead. Past. When I could reach this hand up and grasp the sky. When the sunlight in the distance and the faint sounds of the waves were still nearby. When I was still alive. When that person was my everything.
Know that they can’t go back, people wish to return when they were happy. But I cant even wish for something for my own sake. All I can do is to keep sleeping. To keep dreaming about those times when that person was around. By myself. I knew that a girl would be appearing in my dreams that have been full of solitude. A young, smiling girl, with beautiful eyes. A girl still not knowing that she was born with qualifications to be a Dreamgazer that sees the future in dreams.

I see the future in my dreams. The future of the Earth. The future that Kamui chooses. And… I also knew… about the tragedy that would later befall the girl.

The Troubles of Boredom

2004-11-02T19:20:00.000-08:00

Yes, this was created strickly out of boredom so no guarentees on what this will become, or even that i will stick with it long enough for it to become anything. Enjoy. Or at least don't blow it up please.